I still remember when I used to pray for you before we met. For you to love God, be handsome, strong, wise, careful with money, hard working, humble, kind, funny, considerate, honorable, forgiving, disciplined, patient and unconditionally loving. I thought it impossible for there to be such a man…not for God.
God has given us two wonderful gifts in our boys whom you have loved like every child deserves. You teach, instruct, guide, discipline, encourage, love, apologize, joke, inspire and comfort our sweet, sweet boys. Unfortunately they will see incorrect examples and will one day fully understand how amazing their father is. Prayerfully they will see your example and desire to be just like you in the same way you have with your father.
The memory I hold closest to my heart with you this past year is when you told me days later that you had woken up one morning and prayed for God to take away my depression and anxieties and give it to you. That week had been particularly dark with thoughts of suicide and so many tears. I was paralyzed, non-functioning and unstable you had become my caregiver. I was angry at first because you’re a faithful man and I knew God would answer. Why would you ask for this? I would never wish it on anyone and the man I loved most especially. But after realizing how God had answered and how I spent a full day without depression and anxiety and you had, I was shocked and in awe and relieved honestly I was suffocating. I hated that it had cost you. I imagine God was amazed by your prayer and granted it knowing it would only help you understand and for certain bring us closer.
Through hardship and loss you have always been by my side. I know it has not been easy for you as you’ve held my hands up and sacrificed yourself endlessly. I will never forget this past year. Though not anymore because of the pain and suffering, but I will remember it now as the year my husbands love led me out of the wilderness and back to my first love. Austin you have helped me find my worth and value in God again.
You are a light in my life I will never deserve. Rather than spending time trying to understand why me? I will spend it loving you passionately. My husband, I will love you always. I will be faithful and loyal to you all the days I have here on earth. I praise and celebrate the day you were born! Happy Birthday, I love you.